i'm the asshole? i'm outta here. i wouldn't eat here, i would never eat here anyway.

The majority of my friends understand that I am an asshole (prick, jerk, not very nice, etc.) at times. However, it seems that some people are still having trouble figuring this out, so I put a sign on my door to clear up any remaining confusion. I suppose that I could offer up explanations as to why I act the way I do, or maybe enter some sort of rehabilitation program...assholes anonymous or whatever. "My name is Josh and I am an asshole. As long as I can remember, I have been taking things personally that I probably shouldn't. I get pissed off easily and blah blah blah." But what does it really matter? I'll offer up false apologies, everything will be fine, and then I'll start having the same stupid fights with the same people. Boring.

Instead, people that hate me (if only momentarily) should go listen to how this lady talks to her son. Afterwards, they (YOU) can call me up and see what a sweetheart I am in comparison. Happily ever after.