you are sleeping, you do not want to believe

I awoke today to find myself in another dimension. My transportation to this new existence would have gone entirely unnoticed (maybe even preferred) if not for a few notable inconsistencies.

For example, I weighed myself this morning (because I am health conscious like that) and discovered that over the course of one night, I lost twenty pounds. At first I thought that perhaps my doppelganger had finally taken over my body, but quickly realized that the inevitable melding of myself and my space-twin is probably not going to cause me to lose any weight (sorry Daniel). And just when I thought that I had found the logical solution to my weight dilemma ( getting a little too carried away with my John Basedow workouts), I found another troubling clue.

I am one year older than I should be. The aging was instantaneous, but apparent nonetheless. Even as I type this, I can feel the sickly effects of growing old (and up) permeating into both my bones and my soul. But more importantly, I can see proof of it on myspace. No matter how hard I try to remedy the situation, my myspace age will not revert back to what it should be...26 or bust, I guess.

You know, the more that I think about it, maybe I am not in another dimension at all. More than likely, brain-sucking aliens are attempting to take over the human race, making everyone skinnier and older in order to alleviate any attempts on our part to foil their plans of...uhh, brain-suckage.

ps...I fixed the age thing. Better luck next time, brain-suckers.