it's going to end up on the friendship tip

Just in case any of you heartbreakers were wondering, I only want to date you if you either A) have a boyfriend or B) live at least two hours away. Girls that fall into both categories go straight to the top of the list...at which point I will begin to stalk you on myspace, forging an uncomfortable pseudo-relationship that will last for years to come.

In other news, I am exchanging all my real-life friends for the dude with the chrome grill that Ben and I met last night. Because unlike you people, my new found friend has clever catch phrases like, "If I'm running, ya'll better be running" and "where's the party poppin' at?"

ps...yeah, I know that those phrases are neither clever nor catchy, but the dude had silver teeth...SILVER TEETH!!!