you shall never obtain the necronomicon

And you will never get W's crap(s) either, you terrorist bastards!

things you don't care about: volume one

The greatest cover songs of all time evAr in the history of human history (in every particular order) are as follows:

Pure Imagination: The Smoking Popes
Close To Me: The Get Up Kids
Alec Eiffel: The Get Up Kids
Only In Dreams: Mock Orange
When We Two Parted: The New Amsterdams
Silent Night: Pedro The Lion
I'm Real: The Starting Line
Joel Kliebe: Josh Kerney

but i'm buddha when i sit

I have the body of my grandfather. Thin, twig-like legs...upon which rest the Gordo. My protruding stomach rolls and swells in a manner rivaling that of the Pacific Ocean...wrinkles and folds upon wrinkles and folds.

This is my legacy. I am a marvel.

Black shirts for all.

the devil is waiting for us inside the palace...rush courageously

So, you think you've felt intensity? That rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins? The fear that tortures you in places that you don't like to talk about? Do I run, do I fight, do I run, do I fight...

Sorry, cupcake. Until you have woven your way through demon dogs and tornado mouths, hoping for the P so you can upgrade from the candy canes to the twirly-thing, you haven't done anything. I fought a brain with lasers! Lasers, people!

Lucky is king...lucky is king.

fire in the sky

Alien abductions coming soon.

there ain't no rules...

'cept rootbrrr rules.

in 1986...

i was slobulus for halloween. yup.

the gordo knows

the dark, etc.

When I see planes flying overhead, I often fear that some sort of underbelly bay door is gonna swing open, and bombs and such are going to start raining down.

I am afraid of getting kicked in the face by a deer. Repeatedly kicked in the face.

Sometimes, I worry that if I look too long at people as I pass them on the 99, they are going to figure out where I live and murder me in my sleep.

I have a deep-seeded fear of being stared at...and of not being looked at enough (2002 throwback).

Despite the Blue Oyster Cult's assurance, I fear the reaper.

I am scared of getting second-hand news. About anything.

Ferris Wheels terrify me.