I just realized that I write the same 4 blogs over and over and over again. I am in terrible danger of drowning in my own monotony.
ps...see? If you had done your research, you would know that I have written this very blog at least a bajillion times by now. Except for this explanation...this is all fresh, baby.
I have decided to steal the thunder from my homeboys over in Thailand and am hereby declaring a coup on the city of Chico. Technically, I'm not really sure who the rightful leader of Chico is now that the Queen of the Momos is living large out in Idaho, but whichever frat-rocker/cabrini green-jocker is calling the shots had better watch his/her (equality of the sexes and all that) back. Because when I am mayor of this town, my first decree is going to involve shipping everyone who sucks balls (aka most southern california/bay area transplants) back to where they came from. Furthermore, once Chico is restored to its rightful state, vodka will flow in the streets and there will be free boomboxes for all and blah blah blah...
When I was just a little guy, growing up in the humid banality of the central Pacific, I used to spend my nights sitting on the hilltop bordering my backyard. Gazing upward, with a simplistic star chart spread out across my knees, I would trace the hidden constellation lines with my fingers, trying to distinguish between the faint specks of light above.
As I grew older, my knowledge of the sky slowly started to fade away, making room in my brain for more important things like cocktail recipes and Saves The Day lyrics. However, in an attempt to further emofy myself, I have decided to relearn all of the useless constellation knowledge from my childhood (hint hint, feel free to buy me books about stars and such).
Actually, forget it. I'm bored just thinking about it. I think I'll just stay indoors and find some other way to reconnect with 2nd grade Josh Kerney (yeah, I refer to myself in the third person...get over it).
Following in the footsteps of super famous dudes like Sir Francis Drake and Christopher Columbus, I have decided to devote myself to a life of discovery and exploration (without all of the Indian raping and whatever). While I fully expect to be cruising around the Pacific Ocean in a few years, discovering lost worlds and naming random stuff after myself, I realize that I will have to start out on a somewhat smaller scale. So if any of you needy mcneedersons require my attention for anything, you will find me immersed deep within the bowels of experimentation, doing super important explorer-man stuff. Namely, finding out how many craps it is going to take for me to get through my Johnny Cash biography.
