The above photo was taken from the greatest rock and roll concert video ever made. If you're nice and/or you buy me cool stuff, I might show it to you sometime. Otherwise, you can wait for it to blow up worldwide and then buy it off ebay for one thousand million dollars.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's true...I am getting fatter.
And while some of the girls that I hang around with have been waiting for this moment (you evil chubby chasers), I could personally do without the pregnant lady stomach. It isn't that I want to be a lard-ass, but I don't like the looks of the alternatives. Sit-ups and eating right? No thanks. I'd rather scarf down cheeseburgers and play Super Mario 3 all day.
Basically, it all boils down to the fact that I am too lazy to start running and too hungry to stop eating. In all likelihood, I am just going to take the easy way out and have my stomach stapled or something. That way, not only will I be a slim 140 pounds (scenester weight), I will also have a supertoughguy scar so that people will think twice before trying to screw with me.
