bobby drake is a bitch

Sometimes, when I am bored/depressed/lonely/drunk/alive, I freeze things.

it's going to end up on the friendship tip

Just in case any of you heartbreakers were wondering, I only want to date you if you either A) have a boyfriend or B) live at least two hours away. Girls that fall into both categories go straight to the top of the list...at which point I will begin to stalk you on myspace, forging an uncomfortable pseudo-relationship that will last for years to come.

In other news, I am exchanging all my real-life friends for the dude with the chrome grill that Ben and I met last night. Because unlike you people, my new found friend has clever catch phrases like, "If I'm running, ya'll better be running" and "where's the party poppin' at?"

ps...yeah, I know that those phrases are neither clever nor catchy, but the dude had silver teeth...SILVER TEETH!!!

i get so lonely, i could die

I am utterly alone.

However, the genius of it is that my game of hide and seek hide is fueled by choice (sort of). Yeah, I know that "by choice" is what all the real-life lonely dudes say, and that by saying it I am in all likelihood only hiding from the truth (horrible dresser with limited social skills and all that), but such is the nature of denial. In fact, I only bring up my loneliness because I am home on a Friday night, scouring the internet in hopes of finding a nerd who can tell me how to beat the final boss in Kingdom Hearts...plus, I really have nothing better to write about.

Sure, I could be out drinking with my newest internet stalker (better not tell your boyfriend), or trying to convince the best songwriter of rightnowthisverysecond to make me a hit record. Or, if I was truly daring, I could move out to Idaho and then text message my internet girlfriend a thousand times a day.

But since the only thing that I fancy more than loneliness is extreme laziness, I'll be here in my room, growing fame.

ps...outside living is for suckers.