an open confession of an emotional malfunction

I cry during Deep Impact.

Every time.

tales from the mundane: part two

Gas prices are affecting everyone. Especially fishermen...who are apparently affected by the rising price of gas powered worms...?

the king of kong...

should have been called The King Of Schlong.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying. Actually, I guess I'm typing, not saying. Typing about schlong. Which is weird, but okay...I guess?

dear lady from 'so you think you can dance'

Congratulations! You are the official winner of the "horseface-haver '08" award. Have pride in knowing that you have beaten out formidable nastyfaces including (but not limited to) John Kerry and Mr. Ed. We here at the Josh Kerney Honors Society hope that you display this distinguished prize with honor.

And please, feel free to have someone knock those teeth out of your mouth...srsly.

ps...your voice could use some work as well.

things you don't care about: volume two

Don't speed. They tell me it kills.

If you do speed, don't get caught by the Zumalt. He is the destroyer of souls...but, a nice dude nonetheless.

Furthermore, if you do get sentenced to the 7th circle, learn all you can. They teach you how to murder people, after all.

tales from the mundane: part one

Apparently, in Idaho, you don't have to be Hispanic to be Hispanic. You only need an old cowboy hat and a wicked mustache. Ole!

In semi/notintheslightest Idaho-related news, local ex-politico Joel Kliebe was the lone dissenting voice in a state-wide effort to feed dancing to the Sarlacc. In a press statement released via text message, Kliebe stated that he could not deny the people of Idaho from expressing themselves through occasional booty-grinds and finger-shushes. Kliebe also referenced his love for jazz hands and his desire to getupgetgetgetdown as the driving forces behind his decision.

In response, George McFly was quoted as saying, "I can kick!"